Anyway, I'm going to be a stereotypical teenage girl and talk about the L word. Now, don't be a pain and say "lul which L word, there's lyk, 532580137 of them." YOU KNOW WHICH WORD I'M TALKING ABOUT. It has 4 letters and a hell of a lot of meaning.
In my mind, there's three types of love.
First, is the love you feel for your family. Everyone has it somewhere inside, no matter how deep down it is. One could argue it's programmed into us at birth. I love every one of my family members dearly, and I know that they all love me too. It's a fact, and it always will be.
Next, is the love you feel for your friends. The kind where you can say it at anytime, and it's accepted. For comfort, for laughs, for memories, for anything. This kind of love is a little more difficult to understand for me, because I wasn't born loving my best friends. I didn't even know who my best friends would be when I was younger. I don't know who my best friends will be in the future. It's a love that's developed; after spending time with these people, something in the brain says "Hey, this bro is pretty rad." And there you have it. But, there's always those annoying people who are constantly telling everyone "omg i luv u so much ur lyk my bff 4evr!" This bugs me to no end, but we'll revisit that later. (If you haven't noticed by now, things that annoy me are in chat speak. Because that annoys me too.)
And, finally, we have romantic love; something you feel for a significant other or someone of the like. Let me start off this explanation by saying something vital: I'm not in love like this. Nor do I think I am. I've just been thinking about it a lot recently. This kind of love confuses me the most, as I'm sure it confuses other people. It's one of those things that can't be explained. No one else can tell you what feels like to have this kind of love, because it's different to everyone. But, here are some of the definitions I've heard from my peers:
"It's like having constant butterflies. You always feel nervous around the person, and you're always excited to spend any amount of time with them."
"Even when you're frustrated beyond belief with that person, you'd drop almost anything to see/talk to them. You can't stay mad at them, unless it's something really serious..."
"Dude, I don't know. You just feel it. You'll know it's right when it happens, I guess."
"When you'd do everything and anything for that person. If it came down to it, you would die for that person, even if it meant they'd only live one more day. Walking to the ends of the Earth and back would be no problem if you were doing it for them."
Here's what I think: this kind of love is scary. I'm a person that likes to stay in constant control of my emotions. Sure, I can let a tear slip around my friends every once in a while. I can rage every once in a blue moon. But usually, my emotions stay in check pretty well (hard to believe, yes, but the extremes are definitely extreme.) The thought of having a feeling that I have no control over scares me beyond belief. It's not something I like thinking about, honestly.
But the thing the bugs me so much about this word is how often I hear it thrown it around. Sure, tell people that you love them. That's great, everyone needs to hear that sometimes. But when it's every 10 minutes to everyone you know, that's not cool. Especially when it comes to significant others. I hate--yes, hate-- people who tell their significant others that they love each other after only a month or two of seeing each other. If there's one thing I know about that kind of love, it's that you don't know it that soon. I do not believe in love at first sight. I am a strong believer in dating/being with someone you've known for a while. You should know the person pretty well before you start anything that serious.
I know people who've been dating for years, and it's great to see them so happy. Really, I find pleasure in seeing my friends so happy. I'd like to be that happy someday, sure, but I'm 17. I don't need to find it right now.
"But, Caitlyn," some of you may say, "what if you die tomorrow?! Then you'll die not knowing love!" And to you, I say: I do know love. I love my friends. I love my family. I know love. I could die happy right now. Because I know people love me. And I know I love people. Sure, it would be unfortunate to die before knowing such an intense and powerful love, but at least I've experienced love.
And, now that I'm done rambling, I'm going to end with this:
If you're reading this, I love you. Really, you guys mean so much to me. I know I don't say it often, but I sure as hell hope you know it.
--Caitlyn
